Bubblegum's Secret

“Princeeessss?” Finn called as he and Jake entered the candy castle.
“Shh! You gotta be a diplomat when dealing with royalty. She’s probably on her way,”
“Pshhhh,” Finn let out a sigh. “Well…what are we supposed to do while we wait?”
“I dunno dude, just, wait I guess,” Jake shrugged.
“This. Is. SO. Boring!” The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” Finn sprang up towards the door.
“Finn! It’s PB’s private biz who’s at the door! Finn, c’mon!” Jake called, but to no avail Finn had already disappeared into the hallway.
“Boys?” Called a voice as the gentle sound of high heels clicking against the floor got closer.
“What’s up Pbubs? You needed us?”
“Yes, and it’s VERY important. So what I need you two to do is….wait, wheres Finn?”
“Oh, he went to go answer the door or something,”
“Alright….well, I’m hosting a VERY private gathering tonight…and the banana guards just aren’t going to be able to cut it, they’ll need help. That’s where you and Finn come in. You just need to make sure that the area is protected and that no one is able to hear the exchanges between the parties. It is incredibly important that you boys help me keep this place under maximum security,”
“Okay, what are going to be talking about that’s so important?”
“I can’t tell you Jake,” She sighed.
“Uh, h-hi Peebs,” Finn said, entering the room looking slightly pale. “I uh, I got your mail,”
“You what?!” She snapped. “Finn, that’s none of your bussiness!”
“Told you so,” Jake muttered.
“I…I was just trying to help,” The Princess searched nervously through the mail.
“Well…no harm done I suppose,” She tried to act calm but the tension in the air was thick. “Just, uh, don’t do it again, okay?” He smiled nervously.
“I won’t,” An awkward silence fell over the trio.
“Alright…well, Jake can explain what I need from you two,”
“I heard, it’s okay,”
“Um, alright then…see you boys at 7?”
“Yeah, see you at…at 7,” Finn said. As soon as the Princess left the room Jake immediately got on Finn’s case.
“Okay bro, spill the beans, you know something!”
“What? No I don’t,”
“Uh, yeah you do!” The two walked outside and Jake streched all big and pulled Finn onto his back. “It was in the mail wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,”
“Well? What is it?!”
“First…this letter it….well I thought it smelled kind of funny so I opened it to make sure someone wasn’t trying to posion the Princess…”
“Finn, let me smell, my sense of smell is like, a billion times better than yours,”
“Fine,” Finn pulled the stolen letter out from underneath his shirt and handed it to Jake, who inhaled for a moment.
“That’s just the mail lady’s perfume dude,”
“No! I…I swear…it smelled different from the rest…”
“So what, you go around smelling people’s mail now? Your gross man,”
“Jake! This is serious! Look, the letter has no return address label so we have no idea who wrote it…whoever it is must’ve lost there marbles!”
“What is it?!” Jake coaxed. “A death threat? A ransom note?”
“Even worse….let me read it to you,” Finn cleared his throat and began to speak. “Dear Princess Bubblegum, I’ve been thinking about you ever since the last time I held you in my arms, your on my mind all day and in my dreams all night. I’m so happy to call you my girlfriend, even if it has to be our secret for now…I know you have to deal with your citizens and all that jazz, so I get it. When I see you tonight I am going to look straight into your beautiful bubblegummy eyes and confess my feelings to you. I can’t wait to taste those sweet, sweet lips, and it’s not just because your made out of sugar you know! Alright well, I’ll see you tonight. Signed, your lover,”
“WHAT?! Dude! Peebs has a BOYFRIEND! And she’s been keeping it a secret!”
“This is crazy…I….I can’t believe she wouldn’t even tell me, I mean, were friends we share that kind of biz. I think she owes me at least that much for all the toying with my heart strings she did,”
“Well, maybe she is going to tell you, she’s just waiting for the right time,”
“Don’t you get it Jake?! Were protecting her and her stupid boyfriends DATE tonight!”
“Wait…are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“No?”
“I’m thinking we should sneak a peek into this so called ‘meeting’, then we at least know who this mystery guy is!”
“Isn’t that…you know, wrong?”
“Nah, like you said she owes it to you to know. And once we know we’ll just be all hush hush until she tells everyone,”
“I guess,”
“What time is it?!”
“Undercover super spy ninja time?”
“I was gonna say adventure time but that works too,”

“Okay Jake, it’s 6:30 now…you ready to roll?”
“Yeah bro!”
“BMO, you ready to be our undercover detective,”
“Get ready for some cold hard BMO evidence!”
“Let’s do this!” Finn and BMO jumped on Jake’s back and started running towards the candy kingdom.
“So, what do I do if I see this boy that the princess is with? Do I surprise attack him? Or kill him!”
“Neither BMO!” Jake said. “You’re just scoping out the scene, when you get your clues together we’ll watch your footage, then TA-DA mission complete!”
“What if it’s someone gross…like one of her millions of suitors? Or like…what if it’s some kind of a monster?! Or maybe it’s Tiffany! Or Paper Pete! Or that evil mud snake! Jake! What do we do then?!”
“We just let it go, it’s her love life dude. She hasn’t tried to stop you and F.P, so why should you try to stop her?”
“BMO, I need you to get RIGHT in there…I just, I need to know,” The three approached the pretzel gates of the Candy Kingdom where the banana guards stood silently.
“Alright privates,” Said the kernel. “It’s our job to keep everyone out of the Candy Castle, make your parents proud tonight soldiers!”  
“Hey banana guards!” Finn said hopping off Jake. “Were headed in to survey the premises, that way if someone does get in we’ll be there to stop them! Signal us as soon as someone passes through the pretzel gates okay?”
“Yes sir, yes!”
“Okay…operation PB and the mystery man officially a go….” Finn, Jake and BMO ran inside.
“BMO, she should be in the great room, but just be sure to modify ALL the castle cameras to follow her movements, then Jake and I will watch from the security monitoring station. You ready?”
“I was born ready punk,” BMO said as he took off.
“Okay Jake! Let’s go!” The two boys ran through the castle, Finn felt frantic. He just had to know. When they reached the surveillance station Finn locked the doors and windows and shut the blinds. “Let’s see what we’ve got here,” Slowly BMO managed to turn each of the cameras on and both Finn and Jake scanned the screens looking for the princess.
“There!” Jake said. “In her room!” The princess’s blinds began to move and suddenly something came in her window.
“What in the….” Finn stopped. “Did you see that? What was that?”
“Yeah, like some kind of bat or something”
“I don’t know…wait! She’s talking to someone!” Both Finn and Jake starred at the screen; all they could see of the mysterious man was his right hand and arm. “Oh my life!” Finn shouted. “He’s right there! Glib globbit…just move a little the side….” Finn and Jake watched patiently. “They’re bound to move rooms…we’ll see him….we’ll see him,”
“Finn, maybe we should talk about this. Don’t ya think you’re being a little crazy about this whole biz? I mean, it is P.B’s deal. Just like me and Lady and like you and F.P, only you can feel that ba-bumpity-bump in your chest,”
“Huh?”
“What I’m saying is if you really love someone, then no one else is going to be able to change it. So if she is really in love with this guy then nothing you, me…or anyone says is gonna change that,”
“Finn! Jake! Come quickly come quick!” Called BMO.
“What is it BMO, what’d you find?!”
“Listen to this tape! This is so crazy!” BMO pressed play as Finn and Jake stood over it. The first thing they heard was the princess’s laughter.
“Oh you!” Her laughter echoed against the walls. “I’m so happy that we can finally go on a date, a real one, I mean. You are my special guest, extra special guest,” The Princess giggled mischievously.
“Oh Bonnibel, you are just too cute, you know that? Why are you so afraid to tell everyone? What is the worst they can do?”
The tape stopped playing and Finn and Jake both looked at each other in shock.
“Marceline was the mystery man?!” Jake’s mouth hung open.
“Seriously?! This has to be some kind of sick joke! That doesn’t even make sense! I mean, there both girls! They can’t be a couple, it just doesn’t work like that!”
“Dude, sit down, we need to have a little chat about dating,” BMO sat down as well.
“No man, I just…I just want to know why she didn’t tell me about this, I mean, don’t you think it’s a little weird? BMO, what did they do afraid you finished recording that tape?”
“Well,” BMO said. “First they looked at each other a funny way and then they kissed,”
“THEY WHAT?! They’re both GIRLS, I-I don’t understand,”
“You don’t have to understand dude, love is like a crazy, wild monster that wants to devour your heart and tear you limb to limb…but it’s like you like the craziness. Let’s go home man,” Jake plopped Finn onto his back and stretched his bro home.